I want to go home every weekend from college....?

Question

I'm a transfer student living in the uni apartments. I live an hour and a half away from home. (can be up to 3 hours or less with traffic) The first two weeks were great except that there were roommate issues but things got better. I went home just two weeks ago and came back with the intention that I wont be going home until a month from now. Suddenly, the homesickness kicked into high-gear and I've been really struggling. A long time ago, after graduating from high school, I went to a university that was an hour away and experienced similar symptoms of homesickness. I even dropped out cause of it. Hence, I went to a cc and transferred back into a uni. I really don't know what is wrong with me. People keep telling me it gets better with time but in my case, homesickness literally disables me in a drastic manner. My appetite begins to disappear and my sleeping becomes disrupted. I have to force myself to eat and sleep. Its like I'm dragging this physical body around and have to supplement it every once in a while because I know i have to. I cry almost every day because all i could think about is just going home. I feel utterly miserable and depressed.
I don't want to drop out of another uni because of this. I already made an appointment with a counselor which will be two weeks from now. I do have friends here and all, but in the end I don't care much for a "wholesome college experience". In all truth, I just want to graduate and start establishing a life after college. I have a boyfriend of four years and im an only child with close ties to my parents and friends back at home. I'm simply here to get my degree and move back home. I figured I could handle two years and apply to a masters back at home.
I just don't know what to do about my homesickness. I'm considering going home every weekend because I don't want my health and well-being to be jeopardize. Its been close to a month since I've been here and haven't managed to improve from my homesickness at all. Ive only gone home once and it really affected me when I came back. My greatest fear is that going home will make things worse because i might possibly be more homesick than ever. Still I really don't mind going back home every weekend, my parents are really understanding too. But people keep telling me otherwise that i should tough it out and stay. I know its an adjustment but I cant seem to cope well with changes. It really takes a toll on me. PLEASE I really need help. Anyone went home every weekend and managed well? Anyone in the same boat as I'am? Please share your experiences. i honestly feel like im the only one who is going through this. Thank you

Answer 1

I'm the absolute same way! I'm currently going to a uni that's an hour and a half away from home. I'm so close to my family and I've gone back every single weekend. Which I don't think is a bad thing at all... It costs maybe like $30 in gas for the round trip and I get to leave on Thursdays and come back on Mondays. It's basically like living half at college and half at home with my family and friends. Definitely worth the expenses, family is everything to me. And I say you should do the same!

Answer 2

It would be good if you could try to find some friends at college. You will be miserable if you are just sitting in your apartment all the time alone. Once you go out and meet people and make friends that homesickness will disappear. I know it's not easy. You might need to see a psychiatrist to help you though this. Your university will have a place where you can go and talk to someone. Utilize this resource.



The other option is to transfer to a uni near home and commute. I would avoid this option because you need to learn how to handle things alone. You won't always be able to rely on your parents. You need to spread your wings and take care of yourself. Believe me I know how hard this is, but going home every weekend will do nothing positive for you. It will only make it harder for you to "cut the cord" from your parents. It will need to be done some day. The sooner the better because it will only get harder from here on out. Do you want to be a middle aged person still living with their parents because they can't face the world? NO!



College is the perfect time to learn how to live away from home. Go out, make friends, have a good time. It will get better. All commuting home every weekend will do is keep you where you are. Do you actually like where you are right now (mentally)? It sounds like hell. You need to learn to take care of yourself, and not rely on your parents to take care of you. And I'll say it again: go see a mental health professional ASAP!! You will feel so much better once you overcome this rough patch.

Answer 3

Do you plan to live at your parents home all your life? No? Then stop being pathetic, bite the bullet, and put up with it. You are trying to create a decent future for yourself, don't lose sight of that just because you are not instantly popular. It will suck for a while, but you will adjust and find ways to be happy on your own.



I had a roommate that went home every weekend; she refused to not see her parents and HS friends for longer than 5 days. Anyway she dropped out because her priorities were so divided.