I'm of the personal opinion that all but the PROFESSIONAL fraternities and/or sororities are a waste of time. I, for example, was a member of Delta Sigma Pi... the professional BUSINESS fraternity... which, because it's professional and not social/residential, admitted females and males alike... as it SHOULD be.
I got all the socialization and friends I needed from that. More, in fact. The last thing I needed in college, in any case, was to have to deal with wacky social/residential fraternity tomfoolery! Ugh!
But that's just me. You may be (and seemingly are) different. That said, I detect doubt in your writing... and, if so, then I would counsel you to please take seriously what I'm writing here because, believe me, there's plenty of reason to doubt... and to completely avoid Greek social/residential life altogether.
Were I advising you (and were there a prayer of you actually listening), I'd suggest that you adopt a philosophy similar to mine, but, again, that's just me.
Greek social/residential life is fraught with opportunities to screw up and flunk out. Initiation will do everything in its power to humiliate you and make you feel awful. Once a member, the politics will be ridiculous. Yes, there will be lifelong friendships... but people who live in dorms and/or apartments enjoy those, too. As for leadership skills, you'll only really enjoy that benefit if you run for office.
All that said, getting into a fraternity or sorority is a popularity contest, in largest measure. That being the case, you had BETTER go to all of its events leading up to becoming a pledge, or you won't have a prayer of getting in unless you know someone or something else extraordinary happens.
All Greek houses have information on how to join available either online; or by walking right up to and entering the house's front door, and asking. Many college admissions and/or counseling offices also have brochures available; as does, most likely, the campus's "student union" or whatever is the school's central location where everybody hangs out, and where cafeterias are, and that sort of thing. Or, if you know someone in the house in which you're interested, ask her to get your some information on how to join. She will likely be your sponsor, in any case.
First you become a "pledge;" then you're treated like crap for a semester or two; then, if you survive that (and the construct is intended to wash you out), you go through an initiation that may very well make you wish you'd never been born...
...and then, maybe, you'll be in... and can then become as exclusive, cliquish, malicious and catty as you'd like to be.
Whether, by that time, you'll still believe any of it was actually worth it, is another matter altogether. It just depends on what kind of person you are, and what you value. I'll bet dollars to donuts, though, that thirty years later you won't still think so. But, that, too, depends on all kinds of different things.
All of this is just my opinion, of course... which my ex-wife will happily tell you usually isn't worth the gun powder it would take to blow it up...
...so, ultimately, you decide.
Good luck, in any case.