is this worth missing on semester of college?

Question

school vs moving out HELP?
I live with my mother and a 'step-father'..we dont get along...we have like over 3 years without talking to each other. Is not the 1st time but this time we have lasted more than a few months-over 3 years.

He is always looking for the chance to talk **** about me, he wont say my name but I know is about me. My mom at times tries to tell him to shut up but many times I feel she just agrees with him and begins to trash me too.

I am not perfect, But he says things like right now, that I am dirty, which is not true at all. and blames me for how dysfunctional things are in this 'family,' I have never really considered myself part of the family, 1 because I moved with my mom when I was 4 years old and I knew he wasnt my father (long story) 2 because at times I feel that my mom may have preference with my two siblings (this does not bother today but when I was younger it did) 3 because my relationship with him has never been that great.

I am the type of person who does not like to feel put down so I say when I have a problem, and they cannot take this.. I know that I should shut up at times, and I do, but I think is too late to fix things

This is really a depressing environment.
I am 20 years old so is also time for me to go...I am in college and I love it!

I have had jobs but I was too irresponsible to keep them but I have changed that part of me.

My concern is if you think is worth it to leave school for a term to work fulltime and be able to move out.

I already missed the 1st term after HS because the college messed up my papers (which turned out to be a good idea ironically)

I love college and there is no way I wont go back...but I would have lost a year..
I feel if I leave, it will better the relationship between me and my mother. I will be less sad (it does hurt at times) I will be happier in that aspect..I will have my own place because here I share a room with my brother and sister (who are over 14 ) and I will have my own bed since I share with my sister.

Answer 1

Hey Candela! Thanks for answering my question. Well I have somewhat been in your situation when my parents were acting shitty too and talked **** about me and I wanted to leave. However I knew that attempting to buy everything for myself while working a minimum wage job would be way too hard and in the end you will be hurting yourself, not them. Just stick it out, take the maximum load per semester so you can finish as soon as possible. You're 20 so you have what, 2 years left right? I think you can stick it out 2 years! I know it sucks so bad living the way you are living right now, but trust me, working while trying to do college will be very hard for you and eventually you will choose work over college because you need to survive. Just kill your mother/stepfather with kindness. Just kill em with kindness. They may just end up feeling guilty and leave you alone a while.



If not, well finish your bachelors and get a degree that will probably pay you better than minimum wage will (very important, especially given the state of jobs and the economy right now, it's so hard to find jobs). You will not regret this later down the road when you are struggling to finish your college degree in your late 20s but you can't bc it's so financially difficult.



IN the end, however, only you can judge your situation and what you think will ultimately be the best for your life. If you feel mentally and physically you cannot put up with the abuse and/or it's affecting your life where you cannot live a proper life, then the best decision (if you can afford it) may be to leave. But think long and hard, and ultimately if you can go for the degree, it will help you loads down the road.



Best of luck hun. I really hope it works out for you. Believe me we all (or at least me) have been in shitty situations but know that there is a light and it will end soon.



Sarah

Answer 2

Yikes! Quite a question. Okay first, perhaps, and I mean perhaps you can handle school, homework, a free social life and work, but can you support yourself? Find out through friends, or the utility companies how much utilities are, gas, electric, satellite tv, cell phone, internet, insurance for your car, your car, the registration, first and last months rent plus cleaning deposit, buy your own groceries for a week, what it costs to do what you do to have fun, figure that you will have a few things in the next year to fix or upgrade, your computer, car, cell phone, etc. Add all this up then look at the want ads in the paper for a job and see how much jobs pay that you are qualified for. Can you really manage this? Also the universities are cracking down on how much time students can take off, regardles of the reason and are "punishing" students by making them take more classes if there is a break in the education. An extra math class for example. Your situatuin is not condusive with growth and I know it must still bother you about your relationship with your mom. It doesn't make you any less mature to be sensitive to such a hurtful situation. Everybody likes to be hurtured and it doesn't seem that you have had much of it. Personally I commend you for your tenacity to stick this out as long as you have, but the opportunity to return home probably doesn't exist, so I would move carefully and slowly. Ask your guidence counsilor at school, your peers and (if you have one) your Priest, Rabbi, Bishop, whomever and I truly wish you a better life than you have had so far. Good luck, sweety!

Answer 3

Wow! Have you been reading my diary? I understand where you are coming from because I come from a background similar to yours.



I know how much is sucks not feeling a part of a family and having supposed loved ones trash you. Mom is no help because she doesn't want to be in the middle of it. Been there, done that. And it sucked.



School is the most important thing right now for you and I urge you to make every sacrifice to stick it out.



Perhaps instead of putting off school for a semester to get an apartment, trying getting a part time job (while in school) and looking for a roommate. Hell, how about a student loan to pay for dorm housing? That's what I did to get out of my parent's house.



I wish you all the luck - I've been there and survived. You can do it too :-)

Answer 4

You certainly have a very unhappy situation. I am sorry. It may not be a question of either or. Is there a way that you could either move into campus housing or share off-campus housing with other students? Could you get a student loan to tide you over?



These issues are too complex to be answered online. If your college has a counseling center, make an appointment to talk to a licensed counselor immediately.



Good luck.

Answer 5

It depends on if you have the ability to return without reapplying- schools dont like that idea and look down on it- also consider your loans will enter deferment period. Make sure you have a good paying job- then maybe so- but its hard to get back in the groove doing this trust me!

Answer 6

What exactly is your plan here? Working full time for one college term will pay for you to be moved out for one college term-- and then what?